An honest mother's journey with her transgender son

This brave family was willing to answer the hard questions to help others be more inclusive.

Macaroni Kid Antelope was fortunate enough to interview a local mom who recently began her journey as parent of a transgender son. This subject is a topic that can bring up a lot of emotions. It can bring up thoughts on religious beliefs or thoughts about gender growing up. Well, the world is changing and the LGBTQ+ community is louder than ever to announce, we are here and we are proud! I hope this article brings education and awareness to a community of people who deserve to love, and to be loved by others, any way they choose.

Please follow along with one family’s journey joining the transgender community. DJ has to be the most brave boy I know, to be true to himself no matter the cost!

This mothers name has been changed for her protection to "Leah" and her sons name is "DJ".

I met Leah about 4 years ago, and at the time she had a beautiful daughter around age 8, and son who was close to my 3-year-old daughter's age. We spent a wonderful New Years Eve night together at my house one year. Her daughter was quiet and very sweet. Leah and I have had many conversations about our children together and enjoyed talking about having mixed race children and the normal mom talk.

Last October, Leah sent me a text asking if I could make some shirts for a small family gathering. It had the words "Got your back" with rainbow outlines. I figured it had to mean someone was gay in her family and they were supporting them with a coming out party. Then she shared with me that her daughter came out to her as transgender and identified as a boy. "DJ" was now his name and during his coming out party, I wanted support this young man any way I could. After making the shirts Leah and I had a deeper conversation about the journey she was on as the parent of a transgender child.

At first Leah just thought, "ok now what do you need, how can I support you?" when he discussed being a boy. Later, she was able to verbalize some of the grief she felt for her son, mainly about the outside world. She wondered how people were going to treat him as he grows up. She thought about many things she wouldn't get to experience with her 'daughter', buying dresses for prom or her wedding dress, styling her long beautiful curly hair. That was very short loved, and after some grieving as well as receiving help from outside sources, she has dealt with some of that grief and has embraced the "boy mom" life. She is so proud to see her older son for who he truly is inside.

Leah made a great analogy in the interview about how all children change as they grow up. Think about what your child says they are going to be when they grow up. Maybe a teacher, doctor or vet. Are you going to force them to become a doctor if they say that is not what they want anymore? Or would you support them in who they are telling you they are and what they really want for their life? Her comments on whether it is "just a phase" of adolescence, she says, "so what? If it is, then we can deal with it at that time. My son is my son, and I will love him whether being transgender is permanent, or 'just a phase'."

Leah says the most important point is, "any parent who might be struggling with this, calling your child by the correct name and pronoun is literally suicide prevention. If no one else in this world accepts them, but you do, it can save them".

Leah adds, "They are going through something bigger than you can even imagine and you can save their life."

It is really that simple!

There is much more of her journey. Check out my complete interview with Leah on YouTube.

The following local organizations provide services and support for the LGBTQ+ community.

DROP IN CENTERS
LGBTQ Drop in Center (Adults)
Sacramento LGBT Community Center
1015 20th Street, Sacramento, CA
(916) 442-0185

LGBTQ Drop in Center (Youth)
Sacramento LGBT Community Center Q-Spot
1015 20th Street
Sacramento, CA
(916) 442-0185

The Ripple Effect
A Church for All
4704 Roseville Rd. Suite 110
North Highlands, CA
(916) 807-7305

GENERAL HEALTH
Sacramento LGBTQ Community Center
(916) 442-0185
1927 L St.
Sacramento, CA

SUPPORT
Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians And Gays
(916) 978-0410

Sacramento Area Rainbow Kids
Supportive group of families of transgender, gender variant, gender nonconforming, or gender questioning children (4-18 years old).

Sacramento Area Rainbow FB Group

Local group for LGBTQ+ parents (or prospective) parents to plan play dates and events.

Transgender Suicide Support Hotline
(877) 565-8860

Gender Health Center
(916) 455-2391
2020 29th Street, Suite 201
Sacramento, CA
In addition to affordable therapy and counseling, Gender Health Center provides assistance to individuals in the early stages of identifying one's sexuality to friends and family, and those struggling with gender variance.

Sacramento Native American Health Center
(916) 442-0185
2020 J Street
Sacramento, CA
Provides Transgender Care and Hormone Therapy, in addition to Two Spirit Talking Circles.

You Tube:

How To Explain Transgender Folks To Your Kids (Love this way to open up the conversation with your kids)

Truth about Trans people (For those who identify as Transgender)

Podcast episodes:

Raising a Transgender Child

When your child comes out as transgender